red, white & rude

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American horror story: Toddlers

We are FOURTH OF JULY ready! How about you?  We’re making cucumber/vidalia/beet salad and a patriotic sangria to share this year, as we’ll be attending the ANNUAL Bristol 4th of July festivities with our red, white, and BOOZE in tow.  Please excuse my two year old daughter, as she does not know flag etiquette.  If you count dragging the mini flags across the cement and whacking flowers with them as “what to do”–then we’re golden, otherwise–she’s the least “american girl” that I know. Also, she prefers to sing “happy birthday” while waiving them, instead of “america the beautiful”…ya follow me?–she doesn’t get it!  photo-34

*Stars n’ Stripes Sangria*
1 jug of Carlo Rossi Rhine (white)
1 bottle of welch’s white grape juice
1/2 (the pint bottle) of peach schnapps
1 bottle of polar strawberry/watermelon seltzer for fizz (use any flavor you like!)
1 cup of lime juice (fresh squeezed or bottle)
Lots of fruit! I picked red apples, blueberries and strawberries because HELLO– they’re red, white and blue! Duh. 
Throw some limes in too, for color. If you cut the apples laying horizontal, you get a really cool star shape where the seeds were (instead of slicing from stem to end– slice across instead!)  Put your sangria in a Ball brand mason jar–filled with ice (and some of that sinfully soaked fruit), and you have adorable arm candy for the holiday!

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fryin’ up some tasty flowers with my american chopsticks
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Auntie Addie got her nails did by MOI as payment for watching my kiddies! Am I a cheap-o? Nahhhh…Auntie loves the torture!

Fireworks tonight and the parade tomorrow…how much better can ya get?…well…there’s always that beach chair…alone…on an island somewhere…anywho–we have gone to the Bristol Fourth of July parade every year since I can remember! It is definitely much more fun being a kid at a parade, but if mama can put sangria in her sippy cup–everyone’s happy. Also feed me snacks, I like snacks with my drinks. 

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she sat for 10 minutes straight with this sucker in front of her!
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special treat at the Bristol 4th of July Concert series!

I’m bustin’ out the radio flyer wagon this year to haul the kiddies around. Well really, Ollie will be in the baby bjorn attached to me like velcro–per usual, and Penel will be strapped into the wagon with all our cooler/diaper bag swag, until some very daring individual decides to unleash her amongst the tens of thousand parade-goers. We should probably avoid the red, white and blue with her–and stick to neon green…you know.. like the asphalt workers wear so they don’t lose each other on the job.

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happy baby. gangster baby. happy-gangster baby.

My aunt lives right on the parade route which makes pee/poop runs a breeze–especially when your toddler enjoys pooping in her pull-ups these days. YESSSS, I knowwww…we totally went backwards with the potty skills. DON’T JUDGE ME– I was very pregnant and very lazy. I’ll be nursing in private, too… versus out on the sidewalk with the saxophones of the 78th high school band passing by. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good band–but they don’t need any distractions (my chest) while trying to remember the tune to “your a grand ole flag”. For crying out loud, they’re already trying to walk, play the darn instrument, AND catch water from the squirty bottle being shot into their mouth by the “water person” who’s NOT in head-to-toe polyester. Phew. Poor things… all…that…fabric… thank goodness for them, it looks like we are getting 70-ish weather. I’m sure those outfits smell lovely from sweat by the end of the conga line– so 70-ish sounds hot enough.

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These beautiful bottom feeding aphrodesiacs came from The Boathouse in Tiverton, RI. They were literally caught right there in front of the restaurant. Everyone should eat there at least once this summer. I always get the scallops. LOCAL–and delish!
It’s all fun and games until you’re caught trying to consume a t-shirt at Target.

…stay tuned for my next post ALL ABOUT APPAREL!