Want want want. 

It’s funny how “wants” and “needs” change from your early KIDLESS twenties, to your last year in them when you’re married with two toddlers. I can remember wanting/”NEEDING” Coach bags, phone covers, high heels, etc. for my birthdays as a teenager and an early twenty something, and to go to fun bars in Providence with our friends and family to celebrate {while of course wearing all GREEN, since I’m a St. Pattys day baby}. After two kids, and a marriage of almost 4 years, my list is totally different, and so are my “wants”. I mean now, as a Mom, I just NEED to drink coffee AND wine daily to be kind to the other humans living in my home, and I WANT to have good-listening-little-soldier-robot-children who clean up after themselves, cook me dinner, and get along. 

Above is a sign from our good friends wedding. It perfectly describes the things I’ve always done on my birthday–at least from ages 2-29. That.. I hope, will never change! Let me rewind a second. I used to shake my Bon-Bon to JA RULE and Puff Daddy & the family {whoever they are} and now I’m just boppin’ around to the theme song for Peppa Pig! #bringbackthegangstaRAP 

Seriously though, I’ll be hittin’ the BIG 3-0 in March, and I have to say-I’m excited. I’m not one of those people who’s feeling “old”like folks say happens when you hit 30–unless it rains, then my back and knees ache, and I put on an extra layer. Not feeling tired at all lately–unless you count 5/7 days where I could 100% sleep from 7P-10A if “they” let me. Definitely NOT a grumpy person either–legit act like I’m PMS’ing every other day. –AND, I’m tttooootttttaaalllyyy calm now. “WHERE THE F%@$ ARE MY KEYS, WE’RE LATE!!!” Sigh, still young. Thank god. Don’t know what these people are talking about when they refer to this “old” Bologna.

My husband asked me a few weeks ago if I would rather have a party for my thirtieth  birthday or go away somewhere. After some thought, I had a few questions. Because I am who I am, I said–“well, who’s coming with us on vacation?! We will bore each other after a few days.” He smiled, annnnd told me I was rude. Next, I wanted to know where we were going… because I’ll either need new bikinis OR thick socks for the Swiss alps. Lastly, darling dearest… HOW LONG WE TALKIN’? Cause I run this ship–and need to get babysitters booked.  Long story short –my chances of Hawaii alone don’t look too good after my sarcastic remarks. Shucks. 

What do women want when they turn thirty? Material things, of course! You know, like earplugs, wine, and sneakers! Maybe I’m kidding about the earplugs–the kids would find me no matter what requests I ignore. HOWEVER, I’ve come to love sneakers, considering chasing a child in heels ain’t happenin’ these days, and I’ve become a gym rat, too. Besides, with so many cute styles of sneakers and booties to chose from, who needs heels? AND Kim Crawford…who doesn’t love that broad? She’s a little more expensive than her friend Oyster Bay–but she’s a sure fire hit on the weekends. Much like myself. 

I also want an apron. Is that goofy? I love to cook, so I told him I wanted a new knife set and a apron for my birthday. Never in all my 29 years did I think I’d want either of those items as a gift. My parents brought a knife set over the other day, so I’m all set there.  I want wine and snacks, too. Like, honey–dump me off at trader joe’s fabulous CHEESE area, and let me HAVE AT IT. No limits. Let me pick out 8 different kinds, and don’t ask for some when we get home. ‘Cause it’s my birthday. For my thirstieth—that was an honest to goodness typo BUT I’m leaving it–birthday you can stick me in the NEWLY CLEANED garage with a bottle of Kim Crawford and a pile of cheese, in my new apron…with the earplugs in. Done. 

Hang on. Not done. Next, I’ll take a target credit card with no limit, endless chachskies from homegoods, and a jar of pickled eggs. Raise your hand if you love pickled eggs! –just my family? Ok, nevermind. Honestly–hold off on the eggs. I can make them myself. My entire kitchen will smell like one big fart, everyone will blame me, and I’ll bring those into the garage, too. 

Side note: I ran to TJ Maxx this morning with Ollie after dropping Penelope off at school, and snooped around for some early christmas shopping. FRIENDS– it’s really worth it to check Homegoods for brands like Melissa & Doug,  Play-Doh, Disney, Marvel, etc., because you can save! Ollie and I didn’t do too much damage, but I did score some matching jammies super cheap for the kids Christmas card this year. Add jammies to my list. Onesie pajamas. No shame here! All about fleece/one-piece items. Sweaters. I’ll take a few oversized droopy ones that I can bury myself in with leggings and scarves. ALL WINTER. 

Let me sum that all up for you! 

Final list: Wine, cheese, sneakers, ear-plugs, a one way ticket to Hawaii, pickled eggs, big sweaters, onesie pajamas, a credit card, a robot vacuum (just for under Ollie’s high chair at each meal), military style children, an apron, and big boobs.

 Happy Monday, y’all!