Ohhhh it’s a jolly holiday…

this is how you get your child to eat a turkey and provolone sandwich. you cover it in junk and shape it like a gingerbread house

…And just like that you escape your children, leave the house alone, run to the drive-thru for a chocolate croissant and your mocha iced coffee and you are home free. When in reality you are rushing to TJ Maxx for the 67th time this month and you are determined to completely be done with your shopping by tonight. Poor little Ollie boy kind of got shafted this year (as if he was around last year) so I felt the need to grab him some more little gifts. As my mom and I were saying, “he doesn’t know”, which, he doesn’t–but WE KNOW, so we didn’t want to jip the guy. We tried to go light this year on the whole “Santa” thing seeing as how we are moving and certainly don’t need more crap to take with us. Speaking of crap, I dropped my phone this morning and Penelope looked at me and slowly spoke the words, “holy crap mama.” #soproud

one parent is hungover and one parent is making an ugly sweater tonight. I’ll keep you guessing.

So. I’M making the ugly sweater, and my hubby is the hungover one! Hehe. Conveniently, my favorite v neck Gap Sweater came out of the wash with a huge hole in it this morning, making it garbage–aka the base of my ugly sweater. You’ll have to wait for the photo to see just how UGLY we are talkin’, here. I did a national lampoons inspired sweater/mixed with who-ville. Grabbed the lime green Pom-Pom garland at Targé for 3 bucks tonight.

bass pro shops has the biggest and best tree to pose in front of. get it boo.

…sometimes you forget how awesome your family really is until you are at a holiday with them. My family cooks everything, soup to nuts-really. Tomorrows (today’s) Yankee swap/sweater shindig will have the best apps and desserts, because my “crew” can deliver a mean spread. They are LOUD as all hell, and yes, I’m one of the loudest ones! But I just have to get my point across..ya know ? After a few cocktails, everybody has to sing “the 12 days of Christmas” and then we do the Yankee swap or vice versa who knows– like I said, it’s after a few cocktails.

“who is this guy, and why’d he just offer my sister a dollhouse?” -Oliver

I’m whipping up a non-traditional bruschetta made with prosciutto, arugula, some sort of fig chutney and possibly soft goat cheese. I’m just going to “make it up as I go”–per usual. My mom isn’t a goat cheese fan. She says it tastes like the actual goat which sometimes–I agree. You can sort of see that because when you take the first bite–it hits you like a petting zoo, and then becomes amazing. BJ’s wholesale sells cranberry cinnamon and blueberry goat cheeses which are out-of-this-world. Addicting. I may have to cheat and just use one of those for my “chutney and cheese” combo.

We have so much planned for this week as far as the jolly holiday is concerned. I’ll be sure to document every moment and share it with you peeps. As her right now I’m going to bed because my nose is so stuffy that when I say the word “mom” …it sounds like “Bob”…good night!